MARRIAGE

The Balinese are reputedly polygamous, but the great majority - about ninety-five per cent - have only one wife. It was general ally believed that there are considerably more women than men in Bali, but the last census (1930) gives the figures as 561,874 males as against 576,543 females, or 49-35 Per cent men and 50.65 per cent women, a percentage of women that is even below normal. Men of the nobility often have two, three, four, and even more wives, and old records mention Radjas with as many as two hundred.

This is a thing of the past, however, and there are few people today who can afford more than one wife. But the Balinese are naturally polygamous and it is common for men to have lovers and for women to take the extra-marital relations of their husbands as natural.

If a man brings home a second wife, the first is not expected to show jealousy, but unpleasant situations develop if the man takes a new wife without the knowledge of his first wife. Such was the case in our household and we often had to mediate between the two wives of our host in violent squabbles that exploded for the most trivial causes.

I remain under the impression, however, that it was often wounded pride rather than sentimental jealousy that brought about the tense situations, and with other families of polygamous Balinese we knew this was so. The younger wife of a friend took care of the elder wife's child, and when they visited us together one would have taken them for sisters, such was the affection they showed for each other. Often another woman with whom to share the house means company and help to the first, and thus she is welcomed, especially if the new wife was chosen, as often happens, by the first wife.

Two wives in one home have separate houses to sleep in and often they do not even live together. Many Balinese live with the first wife in the ancestral home and keep their subsequent wives in other houses and even in different villages, visiting them once in a while and only bringing them together at festivals where they all must pray together. They agree that this is the most convenient arrangement, and our harassed host confided to me that in future lives he would be wiser and would marry only once.

The free and easy status of women of the average class is not enjoyed by women of the aristocracy; their husbands are absolute masters and they live restricted and secluded in the palace,although he may try to bring her back by force. In any case she has to return the money dowry.

The divorce is performed by the village authorities (in whose judgment the case rests) by slight ceremonies, the most important of which is the breaking of a “ yellow “ kepeng (pipis kuning) by the husband and wife, to represent, perhaps, the breaking of the magic circle (completeness) of marriage.

Outside of caste and incest ' taboos, there are no great marriage restrictions in Bali and there seems to be no objection to marriage with cousins, divorcees, a woman thrown out by her husband, and even with widows, against whom there was once revulsion on the part of the nobility, due to the now defunct institution of mesatia (suttee), by which the widows of a prince had to follow their dead master into the spirit world.

A widow may marry when and whom she pleases as long as she has the permission of her family, her relatives-in-law, and her son, or of her own relatives if she has returned to her ancestral home. Marriage of a Balinese woman with foreigners - people of another race or religion - is permitted, although by the marriage the woman loses the right to be called a Balinese - again an emphasis on the importance of ancestral relations.

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