MARRIAGE

As with everything in Bali, marriage customs differ from district to district and from caste to caste; from marriages by free choice, and others prearranged by the parents, to kidnapping with violence. Often what is commonplace in one village is unknown in another, and no general rule can be established that applies to the entire island.

I shall attempt, therefore, to give only a general outline of marriage practices and to note what we had opportunity to observe in the districts in which we lived: Badung and Gianyar. It is in detail, however, that the ceremonies vary; the fundamental principles for the different sorts of marriage remain the same everywhere.

Ngrorod. In Bali the honeymoon usually precedes the wedding; the average boy in love with a girl makes his marriage arrangements directly with her, and outside of his father, perhaps, and a few friends from whom he needs help, he keeps his intentions secret until the day, previously agreed upon between the boy and girl, when he will steal her. Shy couples simply run away together to the house of a friend, as a rule in another village, where they spend their honeymoon in hiding. But the Balinese love spectacular kidnappings.

The girl arranges for her clothes to be taken secretly to their future hide-out, and on the appointed day she is captured somewhere on the road, in the fields, or in the river by the kidnapping party, led by her suitor. She is expected to kick and bite her abductors in sham self-defence, and although there may be witnesses, no one would dream of interfering, unless they are relatives of the girl, in which case they are supposed to put up a great fight. In Den Pasar it is stylish to rush the girl away by hired motor-car.

At her home, as soon as her disappearance is discovered, her enraged father is supposed to run up the alarm-drum-tower and beat the kulkul, asking who took his daughter; but of course no one knows. Even a searching party may be organized simply for the fun of it; after a while they return breathless but empty handed. Should it be known, however, that the girl has been abducted against her will (melagandang) , the pursuit is real and the kidnapper may be badly beaten and even killed if caught by the girl's relatives.

In Badung even forceful kidnapping is legal if the girl is taken in daytime and not from her house; then, as often happens, if the girl chooses to remain with her forced husband, the marriage is legalized by the proper offerings and ceremonies and by the payment of a stipulated amount to her family; otherwise the marriage is annulled and the boy fined or jailed.

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