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ADOLESCENCE This is not the case, however, among the ordinary Balinese villages, where boys and girls lead a freer sexual life. There matters of sex are not solemn, mysterious prohibitions, and it is natural that in coming of age they should continue to have sexual relations that started in the character of play, incompletely of course, during childhood. The average Balinese does not attach great importance to virginity and it is not difficult for a divorcee, a widow, or even a woman who has committed adultery to marry again. Lowcaste girls have many occasions to meet boys and often carry on affairs, kept secret because of natural shyness. The Balinese are extremely discreet in their Intimate relations; lovers are never seen together in public, and it would be unpardonable manners for a man to make insinuations to a girl in public. It is not unusual for girls to take the lead and " make eyes " (saling sulang) at boys, or give encouragement to a shy suitor with some sort of small present. Girls of high caste are usually chaperoned and their chances of meeting boys are considerably fewer. For the princes, whose mentality is more " Oriental " than that of the less prejudiced average Balinese, a virgin (gentan, in the absolute sense of the word) is highly desirable. Where feudalism still holds sway, a prince may order a subject of his to reserve his pretty daughter for him when she comes of age, and there are cases of Satrias and Brahmanas who kidnapped a girl of their own caste immediately after the first menstruation.
Such cases are shocking to most Balinese, however, and there are rules
and penalties against premature marriages. In general, the average marriageable
age is eighteen for boys and sixteen for girls. A noble Balinese friend
once told me that he could tell a virgin at first sight from the
texture of her skin, the shape of her breasts, the muscles under her
arms, and even the shape of the mouth; but he added sadly that now that
so many girls wear blouses it has become more difficult to tell!
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